Saturday, August 7, 2010

Bookmarked.


Another chapter of my life has ended. Possibly the best and worst chapter of my life. So much to learn from, so much to experience...so much energy, time, love...life. We gave each other our all. We had our ups and downs. Major ones. But til this day, I still feel like it's all worth it. You're my first love, my best friend. A memory that can't be replaced or taken away. My biggest learning curve, my biggest inspiration. This experience cannot be explained, it can only be lived and felt. You're still the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I'm satisfied with our relationship and where it ended up. I feel no more heartbreak, only pride. Pride for you, for standing up to yourself, for making the right decisions, to being mature, to knowing not only what you want, but what you need. Pride for myself, for being accepting, for learning, for growing up, for realizing that things happen for a reason. That things can be much simpler than you can imagine, only if you choose for it to be simple. Although love can be simple, falling out of it can be...complicated. But who's to blame? It's no one's fault.

No one can change the way they feel about something, or someone, in an instant. There's always a cause, an idea, a motive. A motive can be as simple as being complicated. Does that make sense? Sure it does. Falling out of love can't be controlled. Forcing love isn't genuine. I'll take our relationship for what it is; a very strong, very close friendship between two individuals who share the same passion in art and dance. Two individuals who experienced love and hate for each other, respectfully. Two individuals who experience trial and error, willing to share each others individual experiences in life to create goals, to find paths, to succeed in life, whether it's together, with someone else or on their own. A bond so strong, it's more than friendship. But that's really all there is to it.

This chapter in my life has been bookmarked. The last 365 days (1 year, to be exact) have been some of the most significant days of my life. Your love is "stained" in my heart, a stain I won't wash off because it's a reminder that someone is out there waiting for me to share the same love I had for you. Who knows, maybe it'll go 360 on our asses and come back to us. One can only hope, but that one isn't me anymore.

"I know they say the first love is the sweetest but the first cut is the deepest."
'Karaoke', Drake

To end this note, I just wanted to say...thank you. Not for being a good girlfriend, but because you were always there, ready and willing to be a friend. It's something I value more than anything between us. I love you and you're the best, Melay. I always told you, "don't forget that".

-Bonus

1 comment:

JAYBEAST said...

I'm so proud of you.. I don't know if you remember, but I told you that you would become wiser no matter what outcome would be thrown at you. I was right, and I knew I was too. Your perspective on everything is something that most people struggle to realize or understand. Good for you homie, take care.